Thoughts Unveiled

I'm a lady, never a tramp. I don't play tricks, I like to play for keeps. I'm worth your wild, I'm def more than a treat.

 

I'm not bootylicious, but I'll make you stop and stare. When your eyes capture me, you'll see more than a pretty face, but beauty to match.

 

And when you see my stride, know that my struggles have made me wise and confident. My pride, I let subside, I'm only flesh, but greater is HE

 

Within me I'm like Esther, the silent weapon, like the Proverbian Queen, waiting to foster a family. Like Mary, ready to birth seeds of CHANGE

 

Know that I'm a WOMAN full of potential, if I don't knos, like Musiq says, "Teach Me"

 

It takes a MAN to help, support, nurture, NEVER to hinder. If you reveal in me MORE of the woman in me, I'm guaranteed to make you happy.

 

What's love if you can't learn me and I learn you. What's love if you can't teach me and I teach you.

 

You want to know my touch, touch my heart, and all the other places you so desire to please will be released.

 

When you kiss my lips, no they've prayed for your daily walk. When you meet my eyes, know I've looked into our future. When you whisper into my ear, know I've listened to the unsaid. And when you embrace my being, know I've long for the inner you.

 

 

I Embrace...ME

I embrace the side of me that only this vessel made of dust sees and is able to acknowledge; What's hidden inside of me is to be revealed to eyes of my heart

I embrace my smile, that even in my hurt, there's always a smile to be embraced because out of my pain births the joy and the salvation of my Savior

I embrace the girl in me, forever21 are my eyes, but my wisdom....

...But my wisdom is embraced in the natural curl of my hair, so tender are the ends, for they have been damaged, but it has brought forth wisdom and truth

Though I've been saturated and conumed...

Misread and misunderstood...

It gives me reason to believe...

To believe that my inner beauty........

That my sass......

My intuitive nature and passion....

Will be able to achieve much more than what my surroundings can offer, all because... 

I EMBRACE ME



Where Art Thou Boaz

Im wondering am I hiding far enough in Christ yet
So that God can send me Boaz
I have sketch him out
But am I all I need to be
For him to come sweep me off of my feet
I can't not be something I want my Boaz to be
A part of who I am and want to be must already exist in him
Boaz where art thou
Have you found your place in God
So that HE can divinely place you in my path
Years of preparation
I have watched the wise and the foolish
Treat their husbands with grace and dishonesty
But when you come my way
Whereever you are Boaz
Know this,
I have cried many tears to reach this point
And moved pass the past to receive you in my life
Know that more than anything I will be EVER so GRATEFUL

....Random Blog inspired my brother and our random convos a/b relationships.

Naturally New, Always A Beauty w/ a Beast to Conquer

We all have a natural beauty. It just has to be discovered. We try to hide our flaws. When in actuality, we are emphasing our pride. Many have look to their natural side as the new look. However, it's always been there, it just took us to discover that behind the make-up, the chemicals, and the surgerie God created something BeautiFULL that was fearFULLY made. We have allowed our pride to be our beast when humilty should be our crown. We let man know I have this all under control. But when under your skin, you desire to be touched and catched by love. But you say you're hiding yourself, but we have hidden ourselves so deep, God can't even reach us. So it took us discovering that our natural beauty is worth being glorified. Our pride began to break in pieces like sand. He can now begin sweeping away the dust, to find there's a queen in you. Your beast of pride is gone and your king can now make you queen. You are new, not in your naturality, but in the sense of your womanhood. You're allowing him to care for your well-being. And where he lacks, you are complimenting. And where you have been hurt, he is restoring.

(There's a mix between 2 topics, I had a hard time sticking with one... Hope it makes sense!)

Morning Jog-May 25,2011

The First Gentle Shower Has Rested
Setting A Chill to the Grass
The Morning Songs of the Birds have Alarmed
As the Blue Tailed Bird Sits High And Quiet off the Ground
Natures Scent Has Perfumed the Air
As Man's Scent of Freshness
Passes Through to Consume and Even to Harm
And When the My Shadow has Touched Fence
The Beast of Your Yard Barks
Setting off the Alarms of Those Around Him
Children Load for Their First Morning Rides
As Mothers and Fathers Rush to Their Cars
Nature Passes Them By
While I Am yet Passing Nature
My Thought Run To and Fro
While Trying to Decide what Valley to Venture Next
My Human Prayer Tries to Keeps Up With Me
As God Opens My Eyes to See His Written and Illustrated Work
His Masterpiece Beautful
Whether My Run Is On A Road of Fields and Jungles
Or In the Heart of Man's Creation Given By God

American Black Woman

Why wouldn't you be the fertile fruit of the land
For you birthed many fruit from your womb
And you were hand picked fruit to nurture
You were raised to be the Proverbs 31 Woman
You were trusted to be the Proverbian Queen
To cook, to clean, to do what man can't do
In your hands it was released

You taught us faith
To our souls you sung a lullaby-
To settle our spirit, mind and body
You scold us, and in our rebllion-
We neglect you, but you never cease to love
Your love continues, because you know-
Your prodigal will return

When failure is in sight,
You know the promise land is still promised
For us, you hide your tears
For us, you stay near never to leave
American black woman, I love you...

For there are soo many angles to you
You can create laughter, amusement, mediation

American black woman
I want to grow up to be like you
To carry out dreams, to persevere, consistently ambitious...
For you have broken boundaries, to give us freedom

The nation made you international
They saw your stance, your smile, your sincerity
The nation fell in love with your passion
Yet, they continued to abuse you
However, you never allowed society to stop you...

American Black Woman
I admire you so...
On your head I place a crown
Around your feet I place flowers
Rest your worn soles
For you have a raised a new generation of-
American Black Women...

Our soft soles, are ready to touch ground
To step on stones and to walk through the pasture
So wash your hands, what work wasn't done-
We will continue to fulfill the dream
We will carry the sacrifices, that were once unknown

Trust, that your installments of value
Will not be forbidden
For you have trained us
And to our teachings we shall return
And when our teachers are once gone
Your heart, your spirit, will forever rest in us...

So if they ever search for you,
They know they can still find you in the,
American Black Woman

Esthers Beautification Process (For the King)

Esther/Hadassah (her Hebrew name), a beautiful Jewish woman, favored by the King to be appointed his wife. I believe her purity (being a virgin) and her innocence of a girl made her to be such a beautiful sight.

Even though she was beautiful, Esther went through a beautification process before the King rested his upon, not just her flesh, but her soul.

Esther 2:8-14

 ⁸So it came about when the command and decree of the king were heard and ^(A)many young ladies were gathered to the citadel of Susa into the custody of ^(B)Hegai, that Esther was taken to the king's palace into the custody of Hegai, who was in charge of the women.
 ⁹Now the young lady pleased him and found favor with him. So he quickly provided her with her ^(C)cosmetics and food, gave her seven choice maids from the king's palace and transferred her and her maids to the best place in the harem.
 ^10(D)Esther did not make known her people or her kindred, for Mordecai had instructed her that she should not make them known.
 ¹¹Every day Mordecai walked back and forth in front of the court of the harem to learn how Esther was and how she fared.
 ¹²Now when the turn of each young lady came to go in to King Ahasuerus, after the end of her twelve months under the regulations for the women--for the days of their beautification were completed as follows: six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and the cosmetics for women--
 ¹³the young lady would go in to the king in this way: anything that she desired was given her to take with her from the harem to the king's palace.
 ¹⁴In the evening she would go in and in the morning she would return to the second harem, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the concubines. She would not again go in to the king unless the king delighted in her and she was summoned by name.

In the above passage, we see that Esther was given favor, her beauty may have been beyond stunning!? I would probably say breath taking. Possibly a reflection of God's Glory?

Esther was given the best treatment and the best handmaidens to assist her during this process. She received all types of makeup products, delicious foods, beautiful clothing and fragrances to prepare her for meeting the King. But as you have read, it took time. An entire year! I must say, Esther must've been a patient woman. Today, not many young ladies want to wait for their King, they don't want to go through the process that God has set aside for them to prepare to be Woman of God and the Queen she needs to be for the King of her life. Instead, we jump on the first good looking man that "seems" to fit what we want and possibly what we think we need.

BUT, back to Esther. I believe this process of the 12 months of the myrrh and the spices were not to only beautify the young women, but to groom them into becoming a lady, a Queen. Before ever entering the palace, some of these ladies may have never had the chance to be all dolled up. Therefore I believe it was a training process for the young women to learn how to beautify their bodies to the Kings liking.

With that said, I believe it's important as a young lady I learn how to properly groom my body image and not just my flesh, but my spirit, mind and soul. LADIES, don't have a beautiful outer layer/countenance, but your spirit man is "jacked up!" That is just a contradiction of who you are and can be deceiving to the man who tries to pursue you.

So here are a few tips and ideas of some of the things I do. I guess you can call it my "Esther Process."

The Esther Process: My Body

1. I like to chose a day out of the week where I have a lot of free time, preferably mornings, where I can do a little self pampering. Instead of going out, enjoy the comfort of your home and learn how to take care of your self.

2. Generally on this day, Fridays, I like to mask for a few minutes. It helps open up my pores and gives my facial skin a deep cleansing. Then I put on a creme and I massage it in with upward motions.

3. Mani's and Pedi's: I love doing my feet! It's relaxing to soak your feet. I grew up watching my grandmother and mother do it. This may seem old folkish, but it's relaxing. I would suggest going to the dollar store or Wal Mart and by a little pedi kit, grab a bowl, add hot water, and a towel. If you have to clip your toe nails, remove old polish, scrap around the nail and DIP them in the HOT WATER! Another small tip, add bleach and your favorite body wash/soap. After that process is done, massage your feet with lotion and put on a clean pair of socks OR paint your toe nails. I use the same process for the nails as well; however, I don't enjoy doing my nails as much I do my feet.

4. Groom your hair. This is the part I struggle with the most because I don't know how to do my hair. SO for me I just take the time out to grease my hair, brush and comb through it, and then I style it. However, make sure you take care of your hair. For me I have natural virgin hair. Most times I get my hair done every 2 weeks: wash, condition, press and curl. But I will suggest learning to take care of your hair from wash to the style, which is my goal for this year 2011.

5. Of course you must SHOWER!!! Most times before I shower I take the time to shave, then I enjoy about a 10 to 15 min shower. Sometimes longer because I enjoy practicing my vocals while in the shower. Afterwards I like to lotion/massage my body with this Vitamin E cream or a lotion that has Shea butter in it. I would say use a lotion that will keep your skin from being dry, keeps your skin healthy and looking youthful. Deodorize, not one likes to be funky. And then I spray on a scent thats suiting for the events of the day. It never hurts to have more than one scent, which I am learning myself. I keep at the most 3: flirty, everyday wear, &&& a just because scent (specialty choice).

6. WAX EYEBROWS! I know everyone don't wax; however, make sure your eyebrows are clean, especially if you're going on a date. Lately, I've been trying to groom my eyesbrows with the little razors to get rid of stray hairs until my next wax appointment. I must say, it has been a challenge and I believe my eyebrows are growing faster now. Generally, I get my eyebrows done maybe twice a month. I like them thick and long because it suits my face, and Kim says "I have sexy eyebrow" So make sure your eyebrows are suiting for your image.

7. Drink plenty of water, and if you have to, Cranberry Juice. Water helps purify you along with Cranberry juice. For me, this is a new habit I am working; however, this process must be done daily to keep your body clean and to prevent health issues.

8. Minimize junk food and eating out. This is another area I am growing in, not only to eat healthy, but to save money.

9. Exercise. I know the new thing is Zumba, some prefer yoga, and others the treadmill. But whatever it may be, if its running or dancing, I encourage you to make it a daily or weekly habit. I like to run and sing, therefore, those are my workouts. And I will be adding hula hooping to my workout plan as well.

10. Relax, take naps, and get an adequate amount of sleep at night.

11. TEETH! Almost forgot it! Please keep your breath fresh! Don't forget to floss and BRUSH YOUR TONGUE!

Those are some of the things I do for my flesh, but what about for my spirit man?

The Esther Process: Spirit, Mind & Soul

1. Repent! Free your mind from what Satan is trying to burden and condemn you with.

2. Forgive! Life is to beautiful to hold grudges. It only causes stress and stress causes PIMPLE! (YUCK!)

3. Pray without ceasing! Stay in a mode of prayer. Always be mindful of what God is doing for you!

4. Remain grateful!

5. Be humble! Pride will tear you down and cause your arrogance to be ugly!

6. Study your word daily! Even if it's only for 10 minutes, get your word. I will admit, for it's hard, but we
will get there.

7. Surround yourself with God-Fearing people. I know this to be evident, that people can corrupt your spirit, therefore, choose your friends carefully.

8. Get under a good ministry/leadership.

9 Get involved with ministry.

10. SMILE

11. Let your light shine, so that the Glory of the Lord can be seen on your life.

12. Don't overload your schedule that you can't take the time out to take care of yourself.

13. If not Tues./Wed. night bible study or Thurs./Fri. night prayer, PLEASE make it to church on Sunday! Fellowship with God's people is important. There you can gather renewed  strength for the week by hearing the songs, the word of the Lord, and the Mighty move of GOD!

14. Be holy, be like your Father! We were made in HIS image, so lets not corrupt what HE's given us! Keep your temple pure and pleasing!

15. Refrain from sinning! Obey Gods word! Adhere to HIS will!

16. Be who you are in Christ! Don't put on faces, it will only hinder you and hold you back. Be comfortable with whom God has created you to be.

17.  KEEP GOD FIRST

So there you have it, my version of The Esther Process! Beauty at its finest! Delight yourself in the Lord! His glory will rest and fall on you, causing you to gain favor and beauty! However, this process is not just for 12 months! We must continue to grow and learn how to take care of ourselves, and our relationship with Christ!

Finally I say, BE BEAUTIFUL IN THE LORD!

Cutting Off Delilah, Finding Your Esther

In her lap, she caressed his hair. Longing to know the source behind his strength, not knowing it was in her hands. Samson, deceived/seduced by the attraction Delilah, fail into the trap of conspiration. Like the Ides of March, Julius Caesar, he was betrayed by the one he thought was close to his heart. But, in her lap, he laid, in her lap, she caressed his thoughts into believing, she was on his side. It was there the enemy stepped in, the conspirators and the traitor, withdrew strength, not from his hair, but from the source of his strength, his FATHER in Heaven. (Judges 13-16)......................................

But Esther waited patiently. She adhered to the words of her uncle. On the Lord she waited, and it was there, in her waiting, she found favor with the King. In the royal courts, was Esther able to not conspire against her people, but to be their secret weapon that the Lord would use to bring HIS people from the wraft of the enemy. Esther, a pure and whole vessel, that the Lord was able to use to captivate the mind, body, and spirit of the king. (Read the Book of Esther).....................................

Would you say Delilah was a delightful temptation? Would you say Esther was more than favored and pleasing to the sight of the king? Who would you say was the prime example of the Proverbs 31 Woman? Who would you say you are, not just in your relationship with man, but with Christ?.......

This is a letter, a thought, a reminder, to my own inner woman and the outter woman of me; my letter, a thought, a reminder, from a womans heart to the heart of a woman who is trying to give her heart to a man. Who are you? Are you a pure vessel, waiting for your time to be used by the right man of God or are you sleeping with a man whose heart you are only deceiving?

Many times in relationships women are quick to blame the man as the "dog" and never see ourselves as the "tramp". That may sound ugly, but it's true. We cover up our mistakes, and highlight, illuminate, and constantly remind ourselves that ALL fingers point to him. Whatever the case may be, evaluate who you are. Don't get caught up in being Delilah. What do I mean? Do not spend time drawing out a man's strength by seducing him, that you have no need or desire for in the end. If your plan is to deceive, put your motives into check.

Today women are not seeking for the king of their lives, the husband, the prince charming or the knight in shining armor. Instead, they are looking for the sugar daddy, the pimp, or the baby daddy. Is that how you really want to live your life?

Think about it...

You have a future that lives inside of you. For your future you want to be paired with the perfect man of God who is going to nurture and fertilize what is in you. Not just your children, but who you are as a woman of God. He has to be able to crown you, compliment you, care for you, his heart captivated by just the simple thought of you. Can you imagine, meeting a man who is so fond of you, he can't take his eyes off of you. He won't just do for you, but he will be so delighted by you he will care for whatever desires or needs that's placed on your heart. Whatever dreams you have that's God given, he will be there to support you through your worst, as you mature, and through your best. Don't allow Delilah to conquer your Esther. Instead of seeking after a man of great valor, seek after the GOD who has ALL power. Hide yourself in HIM and HE will set you up with favor that's pleasing to your earthly King. (to be continued)

HIS Beloved

Everyday I am learning

The beauty on my skin

The beauty in my spirit man

The beauty in my sould

HE wraps me in HIS arms

Safe from all harm

HE loves me

HE sees my flaws

And HE still loves me

Everyday I am learning

Who I am in the Kingdom

Heavens Royalty

An heir to HIS thrown

Side by Side

I sit with my FATHER

HE gives me the favor of Esther

And see's me as the Proverbian Queen

I am HIS Beloved

The beauty HE looks upon

Perfect in HIS eyes

Always and forever loved by HIM

I am HIS Beloved

Today While In My Feelings...

Status is Changing Decline has Declined I'm On My Way to Better Days.... Andre Jones............................................. Today while I was in my feelings... I grew up Grew up from trying to impress... From trying to love with a brokenheart... From trying to keep friends around.. Because when... When I was growing up up UP... None of this was nothing but a thing... It was dust, now like Adam... All my feelings have become... Become part of my human nature... Their first impressions of me: Everyone knew I had the cash... Everyone knew I had the house... Everyone knew I had the car... Everyone knew I had the "parents"... In my house: mom and brother... Under the roof of my grandparents... However, because of the dress.. The talk... the education... To the eyes I had it all...To the eyes I have it all... But in my own mind, I knew... I know... I know I was just fine... And one day I will be even better... To the eyes... I have the life... To God... I have favor... To my flesh, I envy... Not my neighbore flesh, But I envy my future... Awaiting my future, to be held tight... Tight into my hands... With my hands in HIS hands... I know HE'LL take me... Take me to that place... Where HE desires for me to be... Where not only my flesh... But my Spirit, Mind, and Soul... Will be happy... My heart satisfied... But open to receive more... Today in my feelings I almost fell into doubt... Of how people feel about me.. How they care about me... How they think about me... But I remember... This life is for me to live... Everyday I wake up... I wake up to see... To see my beautiFULL face... And one day, the man... The man I will call mine... Will invoke himself with my presence... His breath into mind... We will become ONE... Today while in my feelings... I faced fear with a smile... I faced doubt with "A glass half full"... I faced growing up into a bigger part me... A part of me that's uncontainable to eyes... Misunderstood by the crowd... Disrespected by the spectators... Mistreated by the closest of friends... Today...Now... and Forever... While in my feelings, I will no longer be lost... Be defeated... By the assumptions of... Of what the eyes may see...say... or think... About me... Today While In My Feelings................................... My Good Days Outweigh My... My Bad Days... My Bad Days..... A. B. Nicholas

...But You Came Again

I wanted to move on But you came again My heart- Almost ready to love But you entered in- Back into my heart You found your place again- Back into my heart Into that tender touch- My love fell for you again I was ready for love But you came again Only to love you- And nobody else You wanted my heart- More than anything But my heart Wanted to love again- More than anything I thought you were gone But you came again Ring,Talk,Smile,Sleep You knew my tenderness Touch,Embrace,Kiss,Make Up You knew my tenderness You knew the way back into my heart I thought I led you around Losing you to help you- Lose the place that captured my heart But what I failed to realize- Is that I didn't move the spot But what I failed to realize- Someone so close to your heart Knows all the tricks and the trades In my failure- I failed and gave you my heart I didn't hold it in my hand Just to show you- The places that made me smile But I gave it to you to hold So when you came again You didn't return my heart But, you showed me- The places in my heart that you hurt You showed me the place where my desires laid But when you came again You not only showed me my heart You gave it back- So that I could forgive you This time when you leave- I will hide my heart And if you search for it Only G-D will be able- To show you the way When you come again, Love

Moving On..... ?????

At the moment, I just feel like going off on a random tangent about relationships and the man I love dearly, but has hurt me! I forgive him, I really do, but even though we are not together it hurts because of one issue I wish he never told me about. However, he still had the audacity to ask me to be back with him. That blew me! How do men go off, do you dirty, get caught and then ask you to be with them. And even ask you to marry them! REALLY? I see nothing manly about it! I won't use the word dog, but I will use the words BOY and JERK! Right now, I really desire a man who is going to care for me! Romance me! Causes me to smile throughout the day with just the thought of him! I am just ready to meet Prince Charming! I want to be swept off my feet! But I will never forget him! I spent six years of my life with him, growing up, learning, loving, hurting, having fun, etc... He was my best friend, he really was and at one point he was my entire world! I will miss him! GOSH, I really love this dude! But time causes for changes and I believe it is time to move on! No longer will I be hindered by hurt or memories of the past. I am excited to meet someone new! And when I find him, he will be ALL I want and NEED in a MAN. He won't remind me of the past. I won't have to say to him, "Well my ex....blah blah" Because he will be beyond that!

freelance

thoughts flow as i think about the things ... i want to say to you to whom? to HIM? or to him? thoughts of how i imagine the gentleness of your touch the soothing the softness of your voice upon my ear giving me revelations giving me inspiration once were dead now alive you have spoken life you have opened my eyes thoughts flow thoughts rush... out of the wind twirling my imagination the ancient ways of life continue in cyle the future... a repeat of the past? is our future bright or will it repeat over and over and over and over and over thoughts loose go, leap, run, jump the mark has been set your freedom is here to express "no longer bound no more changes holding me my soul is resting what a blessing..." my soul hums this hymn as i sit tightly in the corner bound by what i see the world becoming lost... open field random tangents loose ends heart beats racing trying to manage pacing health becoming a failure society looses itself no more identity where are we going if we don't know who we are my mind is opened my souls is resting my spirit is free my heart is loving ever so longing ready to express my readiness my readiness for love wanting you to know how I feel how when i sleep i long for u... in my dreams, in my sleep, in my awakening and in my rise you encompass my mind you flood my thoughts WHO??? HIM? or him??? awaiting the softness of your lips to speak? to kiss? maybe somewhere in here you are able to find yourself out of control scatter brained rampant horse loose in the fields chasing after the sunset wanting to be tamed...

Stretched Out

Today I have considered myself a "Reliable Resource" But because of my reliability I have felt "streched out" Not money, but just my time Time to talk Time to help Time to just be a friend And when I'm feeling overly used It seems to influence my school work It is then I want to blame school for everything But in all actuality, it's the extra that's pulling me So like I've been told Most times NO is the best solution No I can't help No I can't go by and let the dog out No I can't listen right now There's freedom in saying NO To devote time to the things God wants to stretch me into (Evangelist Cain)

The I's have it

I am Inspired I am Innovative I am Inlove I am Whitney Ann-Alicia Loving every part of me Inspired to live Breathing new life Creating dreams And making them come true I am Inspired I am Innovative I am inlove- With knowing that I am in a time in my life- Where I feel like my dreams can come true

New Inspiration, New Influences

You inspire me The things that involve me I strive to seek the path of excellence B/c you inspire me to press forward You influence me to do better You're just what I need To reach the place Where I will shine But forever walking low So they won't mistake the glory for my own

Like New

Everytime I smile It feels "like new" U say a simple thing And wow my world is changed And it feels "like new" I just wonder what it's like To dance "like new" To sing "like new" AND To love "like new" A New World New places New adventures I imagine that's what- Love "like new" is Streaming with joy, passion Like FIRE Consumes the attachments Purifies your souls And brings out the treasure The gold, that lies within you Wrapped in the newness Of love, life and God